Today I spent time at the family homestead. We’re all settling into the new year, and it felt good to be here even though I’m carrying a lot in my head — especially after days of chasing fundis’ and construction/ renovation delays (a whole vent for another day).
One of my biggest daily lessons in this new life is navigating the cultural differences.
Village life runs on slow rhythm, actively involved community, small talk and intentional check ups , while my city instincts are still wired for productivity, schedules, and digital escape pods.
In the city, “being busy” makes sense, being on schedules and meeting deadlines, catching up with social media, watching movies or documentaries, dancing alone to reset my spirit, cooking what I like how I like, cleaning and nesting, or just doing nothing and recharging. Here, that same solitude can easily be read as, avoiding people, being “lost”, laziness or thinking, “I’m “too important” because I’m on a laptop
So when someone says “umepotea sana” it hits a tender spot. To them it’s casual — to me it feels like an accusation I can’t explain fast enough.
Another trigger today came from two teens disappearing into the dark to whisper privately. I shouldn’t have cared, but I did — especially because one once called me “mbeya.” It stung, not because I was being nosy, but because I was doing what I always do; document, observe, learn— the storyteller in me. She probably found it intrusive, despite asking if it was okay.
I’m learning to live with and in that middle space. I’m not village-born, not a tourist, not a foreign NGO worker —I’m a city girl choosing to belong here and I’m also learning new norms.
In the city, visiting means planning, calling, or scheduling. In the village, passing by unannounced is love, saying no to food is offensive, Sitting down to talk matters more than “doing”
Two homes.Two rules.Two hearts inside one body.
Today I ate twice, a starter at my aunty’s and a main meal at my mamaa’s It felt good and a bit awkward. The appreciation from my aunty and grandma for just passing by to say hi and sitting to din even for just ten minutes lit up my own heart and spirits. Her genuine bright smile and vibrance at my pleasure of the delicious okra stew and interest to learn her cooking style filled my heart with such great warmth and a sense of love and belonging.
I found myself mentally planning small gifts like a pack of sugar, tea leaves, cooking oil or some porridge flour— for days I stop by, even though resource wise I’m not flowing like they imagine, but because it’s appreciated, not expected and because I’m genuinely grateful and learning to speak their love language.
It’s strange being seen as wealthy just because of my soft skin, my projects
and my exposure, when the truth is I am here on love and purpose.
I often have to remind myself that, they do not know my story, they do not see the sacrifices, and considering they have seen other organizations profit off of them ~ to be patient with them as trust is earned slowly, honestly and patiently.
So today under all the noise, it was beautiful. The homestead is loud again, the kids are back from holiday, and the air feels alive.
I’m figuring out where I sit in all of this, not quite a child, not a mother, not a fun-forever teen, but a young woman carving a life that blends joy with responsibility.
Sometimes the teens find me boring —they want fun and vibes while I want fun and foundation. I’m hopeful someday they’ll see it, and the balance will show them great possibilities.
While at it, I still want the fullness of my other world, international work, global conferences, travel to learn and to breathe, friendship, karaoke, sleepovers, my city family and squad and a warm home open for healthy check in and gazibo catch up and dinner- a Bundus sanctuary built with intention.
I am not choosing one world over the other
I am learning to be at home in both.
Today was a reminder that I belong here, even on days I feel misunderstood. I can root myself in village soil without losing the city wildness in my spirit. I can teach without demanding change, and learn without abandoning who I am.
This is the journey.
messy, beautiful, and mine.
#CityBundusBabe #BundusLife BundusBabe