At one point in my career, I found myself thrust into a leadership role. Yes, you read that right — I found myself. It all began with my proactive volunteer work in the environmental sector, a passion that gradually evolved into founding a digital advocacy and consultancy company. This journey showcased my leadership skills and potential, which led to my unexpected nomination for this new role.
I was about to embark on a journey of leading a team of twenty-two young, energetic volunteers. It was an opportunity I never saw coming, yet one that promised to be both challenging and rewarding, and most importantly, a chance for personal and professional growth.
My nomination came at a pivotal moment. Our team had been together for eight months when the founding leader was chosen to lead the overall teams across various regions. This meant they had to step down from their internal leadership role, leaving us in a lurch.
I vividly recall most teammates being adamant about retaining the outgoing leader. They argued that we were still a young team, not fully accustomed to the organisation’s systems and internal structure. The previous leader had been part of the senior team, making it seem logical to keep them on until we were more integrated.
After numerous discussions and attempts to persuade the outgoing leader to stay, I decided to step in. I encouraged my colleagues, reminding them that everything we know now, we once had to learn. Despite our inexperience, I believed we could soldier on and thrive. Even though I was nominated, this was an elective position. There were calls for more teammates to volunteer for the role, but in the end, I went on the ballot unopposed.
Throughout this leadership transition, I kept reminding myself everything would be alright. After all, we were all adult volunteers who understood the importance of our roles. I was confident that we would bring our best, work together, and I’d lead in providing guidance and creating a work plan. I understood that the team had initial fears, but I was determined to address them and build their confidence in our collective abilities.
One of my main responsibilities was to act as a bridge between the junior and senior teams. I took the time to listen to feedback and learned that my colleagues wanted more involvement in planning projects and activities. I was eager to create and consolidate a system that would integrate their input, sustain our efforts, build team relationships, and, most importantly, help us achieve our goals.
I created a work plan that aligned our core service areas with relevant worldwide commemoration days, filling in other service areas in between. Knowing that most of the team members were students, interns, and freshly employed youth, I ensured there were proper time intervals to ease the planning of projects and activities. I assigned different members as committee leads for each project and encouraged everyone to join as many planning committees as possible, aiming for the best in planning and execution. This process involved careful consideration of everyone’s schedules and the alignment of our activities with our mission and goals.
I did my utmost to foster a spirit of teamwork and enjoyment. I emphasised that the weight of the projects wasn’t on any one person, not even the committee leads, but that every opinion and idea were valuable and necessary for our success. Together, we would see our projects and purpose come to fruition, each of us playing a crucial role in the journey.
Tension
My leadership began with a lot of tension and it was very lonely. I faced divisions in the team from classism, ego, ignorance, entitlement, immaturity, and just being human. Only a few members were proactively supportive. I was served generous servings of the infamous blue ticks on WhatsApp and my recurrent calls became missed calls. One of the divisions was self-proclaimed as the “deep state” – the more privileged, more connected clique – and I was not in it.
I held regular meetings, and every meeting was a forum for my leadership and ideas to be criticised — frustratingly, without any alternatives being presented. I became psychologically prepared for the criticism, to the point of being able to predict who would say what.
In all of this, I was certain of two things: I wanted our team to succeed, and I was not going to resign.
Staying Resolute and Positive
I remained firm because of the clarity of my goals and team success based on the cause and work plan. I worked transparently and respectfully and expected the same from everyone. I got hurt several times but maintained my composure and discretion and focused solely on what I had control over, gracefully knowing I was giving this my best. My career and personal projects were doing okay, and I was on to more leadership development, this one more intentional and not by chance or stumbling upon.
As the year progressed, the so-called “deep state” within our team began to unravel. Some members realised they had pledged allegiance out of pettiness and reacted in ways they weren’t proud of. They were maturing but were too proud to apologise.
I remember venting to a mentor about their plans to take over and prove me wrong. I told my mentor, “They think they know it all, but once they’re in my shoes, they’ll understand the challenges.” Almost two years later, I received an unexpected apology during a random call one night.
Over three years later, I am continually proud of how much these individuals have grown and matured, both as people and as leaders. I’ve watched some of them step into leadership roles as they had planned in their clique. Observing their realisation of past mistakes and their efforts to correct them was enough of an apology.
Witnessing their growth and maturity has been a rewarding journey. It is a testament to the power of experience and the humility that comes with it.
What I Learned
While this particular team did the most, I acknowledged my role in not addressing their emotional needs, especially after the second try when they were hell-bent on misunderstanding me. They wanted to put my technical leadership character aside and connect personally. Although I tried, I didn’t put enough effort into it after it was once used against me.
I learned that some things are luxuries to leaders. You need to be very tactical in your self-expression and management. You cannot afford to get triggered and react. Even when you want to spill the beans to protect yourself, you must remain discreet to manage the team and avoid destabilisation. Personal connection efforts are crucial—not just technical connection, but authentic human relations. This connection doesn’t need to be in all personal life facets but should be genuine or seem so.
Forgiveness is essential. As leaders, we must practice forgiveness when we receive apologies, even when apologies are not issued. This forgiveness must be authentic and graceful. We may dislike some of our teammates for immaturity, but we must practice love. You are a teacher, intentionally or circumstantially. What you do as a leader teaches your team something, and you should strive to give positive rather than negative lessons. Patience is vital. Some incidents will provoke you, and some will be out of your control. You must practice patience and tone down your reactivity.
Leaders need a support system, preferably one not under their leadership jurisdiction, consisting of experienced or practising leaders of different genders and ages. This support system should act like a personal board where you share thoughts, seek and provide guidance, and sometimes just vent. Be clear when reaching out—if you need to vent, request a listening ear; if you need advice, request peace of mind. Sometimes, you’ll hear what you don’t want to hear, but you can always consolidate with others in your selected system. Take the advice and do the hard thing; it’s one of the perks of leadership. Don’t shy away from virtual mentors in this technological age. Use social media to follow and learn from different leaders worldwide.
Leaders are human beings, too. Your fellow leaders and support system will understand this more than the teams you lead. Do not push to be seen by those you lead; try to listen more.
Leaders are not born; they are made. Do not beat yourself up for not knowing better. Do better once you know better. Take your time to listen and learn as opposed to being defensive. There is nothing one can’t learn with the right mindset and humility to accept correction. Leaders are neither perfect nor always right.
I salute and empathize with all leaders.
As a proud Kenyan, I am in awe of our transformative times. Our President, caught up in what I believe is his and many others’ greatest leadership lessons, where he stands great opportunity to turn things around instead of twisting the knife in the wound.